blog virgin

This is the first one. Yep. While my mind is constantly racing with numerous little quips, witty comments, and life lessons I could put on paper.. this is the first of who knows how many blogs. Question-what exactly is a "blog." Sorry to so quickly display my ignorance of these things, but I would like to know the origin of this word.
Oh the things I could write down here. The crazy, ridiculous things. Most people would think me crazy if I put down every little thought that made its way through my mind.
I'm 20. I was married when I was 18 and I have an 11 month old son. Ridiculous-I know. When I think of it myself it sounds crazy. I've grown. Oh how I've grown in the last 2 years. And now looking back (it's sad to say that at 20 years old) I question it sometimes. What would have happened had I not been married so young? What would I have done? Where would I have gone? Would I still be here? I love my husband. He treats me better than I deserve. No, I don't have some kind of self-esteem issue.. I just know how much of a bitch I can be at times. And oh how I love my baby. He is the most precious thing to ever walk this earth.
But still I wonder. Human nature I guess causes us to. But I wouldn't take it back for anything.

I love food. Mexican, Italian, Home cooked Southern-pretty much any and all. Since having my baby I have been struggling against this love-hate relationship. Damn that Hollywood..skinny bitches. I'm currently at 156 lbs. and 5'6. Bigger than I want for sure. At 140 I look pretty amazing. It's how I'm built that pulls it off I suppose. I just need to drop those last 16 lbs. I have employed slimfast to help me out with this endeavor. We'll see what happens.

I smoke. I know it's bad, but I started at 16 and if you've ever smoked you know the struggles. I just started taking Chantix to try to quit. Hopefully it doesn't make me craz....ier than usual. Btw I never smoke around my child. I would never endanger him in the way I do myself. He's innocent and can't decide for himself. He doesn't deserve that. And I won't do it to him.

I love my best friend. She's as crazy as me and we have such similar personalities it's ridiculous. We both(in some fantasy world) believe we can live above our means. At least we pretend we do. I guess it's a side affect from growing up in middle-class families in tiny tiny towns. We both aspire to create our own little world based on a popular CW show called Gilmore Girls. We also aspire to turn my husband and her fiance into sexy little vampires. Damn Twilight. She's moving soon*tear*and what will become of me I know not... She's who I run to when I have any sort of problem. When I'm pissed, sad, have good news, have gossip, or just need a nicotine break. But when June rolls around... who knows?

We(my husband and I) have decided to move to a larger town(not far away)and sell the land and horses we own. I'm still amazed my husband(the cowboy) is amazingly gung-ho about the whole thing. I didn't grow up in a "ranching, riding horses, or cowboy-oriented" house-hold. We did nothing like that. Nor his family. But when I entered 9th grade, something in my brain snapped and I decided I was a cowgirl. That's the reason my husband and I were first so attracted to each other. But now.. I don't want that lifestyle anymore. And thank God he doesn't either. We're moving. Thank God we're moving.

I need to go call my bestie now. Find out if she's off work and what might be going on. I need out of this house for awhile.

Later..